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Welcome to where time stands still...7/23/2006 BACK! SO HERE WE ARE BACK IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING. THIS IS JUST A FEW SHORT THINGS...
THERE ARE NEW PICS UP. SOME ARE BOLLOCKS, OTHER ARE AMUSING. BUT THE TAMBOORINE ONES ARE FROM WHEN I CRASHED MY BIKE.
SO... WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING? IN A NUTSHELL. I HAVE A NEW JOB! OUT OF SECURITY AND NOW WORKING IN THE BANKING INDUSTRY.... LOVING IT.
CRASHED MY BIKE... LOTS OF DMAGE. FIXING BUT GETTING RID OF IT THIS WEEK. WILL HAVE A NEW ONE WITHIN THE MONTH.... MY DREAM BIKE.
THINGS IN GENERAL ARE REALLY LOOKING UP AND POSITIVE. THE HOLE I HAD DIG IS GETTING FILLED AND SOON WE WILL START BUILDING THE MOUNTAIN.
THINGS FORGOTTEN HAVE BEEN REMEMBERED! THINGS THAT WERE BROKEN ARE FIXING. THINGS THAT SEEMED INSURMOUNTABLE ARE BEING TURNED INTO NOTHINGS.
MATT IS IN A BETTER PLACE AND FOCUSED AGAIN! TIME TO GET THIS SHIT HAPPENING!!!!!!!
mORE STORIES AND FUN TO FOLLOW... bUT I GOTTA BURN A WHOLE HEAPOF STUFF FOR SOMEONE! THEY JUST WONT LET UP!
SOME WORDSMIRRORS
Eyes burn as I start at the rising moon Blood red to herald the end that has come Corruption surrounds, as I stand here Staring into this void of destruction that Gaia has become The cloying stench of death assails me The fetid reek of life, that having fought for so long Has finally given up, and succumbed to darkness I scream my rage, my loss Why have we done this? Intelligent creatures…HA! All mankind knows is destruction Turning it into an art form They say art can move nations Well this has moved a world For soon it shall be no more Balancing precariously on the brink of the abyss Whose small act shall tip it for the last time? I tear at my face, my body Ashamed and hating myself for being a part of this Blood flows to the ground as I stare into the cracked mirror The distorted image of my face reflects the evil of man Its hunger to control and conquer Is that why we did it? Was it just one bloody conquest throughout the ages? We fight each other for supremacy The earth an innocent bystander, a casualty of war Or was she the prize? If it is then I hope the winners enjoy what they’ve created For they shall not have it long Gaia’s final legacy being the destruction of man As she spirals into oblivion 2/28/2006 TODAYS LYRICS:
THE ELEMENT OF ONE - KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
So. the last couple of days have been interesting. Friday night was awesome. much drinking and boogeying. the band that we went to see, we didnt end up seeing. 2 support bands that took to long, and the changeovers took forever. so we left. shame really. apparently they rocked (thank god the tickets were only $20). and off to faith we went. got some interesting (if not the nicest) sms's from someone i didnt think to hear from. put bit of damper on the night, but mainly because i spent alot of the night thinking about it. got home to an email. and found a bit of hope! (in a fucked up kinda way). spent 3 days chatting to a good friend, working to some resolutions. hopefully once it is finished, things will be very very good. got to play counsellor Matt (word of advice: if you ever want some help , good chance i may be there to do it. But if you want a shoulder to cry on, i am not your diety. Expect advice with a chainsaw... i dont play nice... but i help)
So now it is off to work for 5 hours, then home to write more...YAY ME!
oh yeah. i was never gonna show my face on this dam place. but took a picture the other night before going out, and just saw it on my poota. check it out! it is cool and wierd... i think something has possessed my camera, this sort of shit is happening more and more often... 2/24/2006 Boogie Time.So the biker whores are out and about tonight! One is about to start uni, the other has to knuckle down and get his business stuff up and running. so tonight is go out and have fun. have some drinks. then let the social life die a bit (at least until we get our licenses back) then it is road trip time!!! i think we will be doin about 6000kms... woohoo! freedom of the road (and all that shit)
but that is a bit off. so tonight we are off to a gig (Karnivool are in town) then heading out to Faith (our local Goth/industrial club). So a few drinks, a few boogies and will be all good. Captain Fantastic will be coming, as will the Jimbo. so will be good. updates later... 2/23/2006 UNderstandings...QUOTE OF THE DAY:
THE PROPER FUNCTION OF MAN IS TO LIVE; NOT TO EXIST
- JACK LONDON.
I started readong a book today called 'THICK FACE, BLACK HEART'. And already within the first few pages it is enlightening. i realised that for my plans to come to fruition i need to stop dealing with the trivial things i.e. reading fiction and the like. It is time to start relearning and working towards my goals. So we are now studying to use Design Programmes, budgeting, marketing and surpassing flaws within myself (both mental and physical) so i can achieve what is needed. As a sideline i am starting to learn Japanese for when i go over there to enter seclusion and learn the art of weapon making (mmm... katanas).
The book i started reading today is my a lady named CHIN-NING CHU. She is one of the most influential business people in Asia (male or female) and she is amazing. A part of the write up "a guide that surpasses Sun Tzu's Art of War". The essence of the title.
"Thick Face - the shield: to protect yourself from the criticism and the negative opinions of others. The Thick-faced person has the ability to put self doubt aside. He refusues to accept the limitations that others try to impose on him; more importantly, he does not accept any of the limitations that we commonly impose on ourselves. In his eyes, he is perfect."
"Black Heart - The spear; to do battle with others and yourself: The Black-hearted person is above short sighted compassion. HE focuses his attention on his goals and ignores the cost. A Black-Hearted person has the courage to fail"
in that short amount it may not sound like much. but the philosiphies within this book are astounding! Already they are helping me deal with an issue that has been causing unbearable pain. i started reading today and straight away started looking at things in a new way. As i have so often in the past, i looked to myself to see what i had done wrong, what i could have changed to fix a situation. Even when it was not my fault, i always blamed myself because i should have been strong enough to fix it. But in truth i was not in a position to fix it. the situation was never under my control. I was myself, i opened up and let the parts of me that i normally hide show. i was the way i am. nothing more i could have done. this was not enough despite having the belief that it would be. i was hurt, badly, and i blamed myself. but i cant. i didnt hurt myself, i was hurt from an external source. i have realised this, that i did not do anything wrong. words that were said were apparently untrue and promises that were uttered (onall levels) were forgotten. this tore me apart. but i did not do it to myself. so where the usual defense is to go back inside, harden defenses and make it harder for the next person. i felt i was dead. in a few ways i still do. i am not one who believes easily, yet i had let myself believe. i may have ruined things with stuff i said. yet still i hold to it, because i feel it is truth. and with these truths there is a simple solution. simple... but never easy. who knows, one day the hurt may be fixed. i will not let myself dwell on it, but even now it is my hope. because from the start it has felt right... time will only tell.
One thing that hurt that was mentioned, was that apparently i lie, my belief has always been that i do not care what others think. in the most part i dont, it was only ever those i cared for (black heart does not allow this- within reason) that i let see me. i dont care what people think, yet i always held stuff back. my reasoning was that it was the parts of me that scared people, that scared me to delve into. the parts of me that would get me locked up. So i guess in a way they were right. i do lie by hiding myself. i remember when i was younger, i didnt care if i scared people away, i revelled in it. somewhere along the way i lost that (i do know when exactly). so it is time to get it back. but at the same time surpass it. No longer thrive on it, but not care about how it affects others or how they react. If it scares, their problem. If they take it in stride... KUDOS to them. not my problem. But either way an old part of me is coming back, a part i have missed and felt an emptiness without, but now it has matured, and focused. The funny part is that alot of people who have met me in the last 6-7 years have never seen it, and will have no idea. So we will see how they react.
It sounds precocious. even within the last few years i have been told that my eyes (and it sounds a little tacky) hold a killer instinct. i havent seen it (but then i remember how they used to look). And now i can feel it crashing back in like waves in a storm. CHAOSHUMOUR is truly coming back... and oh what fun we will have....
Now ill shut the fuck up...*grins and laughs* 2/21/2006 Todays New Lyrics.Dreaming Neon Black - NEVERMORE. (ALBUM: DREAMING NEON BLACK 1999)
This is not a new band, as many of you would know. But they truly fucking hammer! Explosive riffs, intricate fast solos with tearing vocals and lyrical harmonies. Throbbing double kicks and pervasive drum beats. It is pointless listing the influences of this Band. Just listen and you will hear it... So much OLD SCHOOL! But where many bands fail is to have there influences and in the end just mimic them. With these guys i listen and pick at least 8 bands of different genres. But these guys have truly excelled in that they have pulled all the influences of their past... and truly conglomerated it into their own unique sound that just tears your soul from your corporeal body and sends it floating on a mystical journey. Never give it up guys! You fuckin rock! i hadnt listened to this song in a while. But my housemate came in today and told me about this band he had heard (downloaded a few songs from their Site) Pulled out the disc and he realised that he had heard them. Music is used to invoke emotion. Some happy, some sad. Some music makes us think of others, recalling memories of good times and bad. Special people and times. This song reminds me of someone very special to me, but chances are they will never see this, as circumstances no longer allow for it. But the words ring so true... Now i know some out there will be like "you fucking sap!" but honestly. If you can sit, take a deep look within yourself and honstly say that you have never thought of someone while listening to a piece of music... then yup, call me a sap. But realise just what is lacking in yourself. Though they may never see it... This is one of their songs. Hello World!So this is MSN's fangdangled "My Own Space" thingy. Well there you go. I would love to type word after , but it took me so long to get this thing set up! Exhuastion is bludgeoning me towards bed. May finally get some sleep (well decent sleep... can only hope) so i guess this whole BLOG ranty thing will have to wait... But oh what fun there is to be had.... Public Space for me to talk... Let the joke that is human existence be unveiled! |
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